I have been here before. I have been this anxious. I have been this needy. I have been talking to myself checking if I did well with the interviews or if I said the right things if I behaved correctly… if I was entirely myself. If that was what they were looking for.
It’s an unpleasant place to be this situation, wanting to work so hard but having no place to work for, I enjoy having time to myself, but there is no joy in it if there is only that. I cannot be wasting time, I could, but I am not seven years old on a perpetual Saturday morning watching the early morning cartoons and waiting for my friends to go and play. To my grown ass bad luck, I need to earn money for a living, and I like doing so.
These past couples of weeks have been desperate times for me, and I’ve been forcing my way in a city where I have no one, but I want to stay here and keep growing. Hopefully writing my simple life issues can ease my mind as I wait for a decision and a green light to start working again.
The only antidote for this is pure and simple patience.
Tic, toc, tic, toc.