Forward – Backwards – Forward

Change needs to be embraced with open arms, face forward and adapt as the times change. We all look to put our best foot forward at all times; some of us can get stuck in one of those steps we make, like stepping into a quicksand, and the more you try to step back or to a side or anywhere outside that place, it pulls you more inside.

A bad decision can cost you your job, your friends, money or more things, take your pick. I can guess that maybe all of us have gone through this “quicksand” phases. Every few steps forward can sometimes come with a fall backward, sometimes its a stumble but onward, I usually fall, backward.

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Falling sucks. Once I fell for eight months straight and, as I write these words I have been falling for two months; several job opportunities, interviews and so but every time something good presents itself, and you feel like taking that firm step forward, all of a sudden a brick is thrown at your way.

Bricks in the shape of ‘we’ve decided not to hire that position at the time being’ or ‘a family member of yours works here so, we can continue with your application.’ Big ass bricks like those, it is savage what those do to your spirit. Luckily, some individuals have the emotional strength to bounce back from adversity, resiliency.

Ending these words, I think about the movie, ‘In search of happiness,’ and the quote: “This part of my life, this little part… is called happiness.

As long as you have a strong spirit and mind, the support from your family and friends and the will to overcome difficult situations, you will have the absolute strength to pull your foot back from that quicksand, put our best foot forward and achieve little parts of a so-called life to call them happiness of our own.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

These words belong to Marianne Deborah Williamson, and they are amazing. I heard them while watching a movie called Coach Carter (2005), actually a variant from the original words. Coach Carter is played by the fantastic Nick Fury (I know that’s not his real name) a wise basketball coach without the eye patch who wants to make a difference with a group of kids in high school, yet another enjoyable movie with Samuel L. Jackson, and I believe it is also a true story (?).

Anyhow, these words I believe are about how we auto sabotage ourselves in every aspect of life. Family, friends, co-workers and everyday situations; everything so that we can fit in a mold when we are our own shape and size.

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noun: acquiescence; plural noun: acquiescences
the reluctant acceptance of something without protest.

As time goes by, you have to make choices that will open or close doors for you in every aspect of life. But I’m not trying to be all deep with these words, I believe that when the time is up, you can either accept it or go against it.

In my case, I think that if things do not go as planned or as once mentalized, I’m just reluctant to go with that flow. I have to see myself trapped and without resources or moves before that final checkmate moment.

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The work hours for a job position ends, the time for being in a place ends, the lastingness of a situation has to stop. Everything good and bad has a life span. Hopefully, I’ll find a job soon so I can quit with all this alone time that has me in a continuous spiral of thoughts, stressing myself.

The bittersweet waiting

I have been here before. I have been this anxious. I have been this needy. I have been talking to myself checking if I did well with the interviews or if I said the right things if I behaved correctly… if I was entirely myself. If that was what they were looking for.

It’s an unpleasant place to be this situation, wanting to work so hard but having no place to work for, I enjoy having time to myself, but there is no joy in it if there is only that. I cannot be wasting time, I could, but I am not seven years old on a perpetual Saturday morning watching the early morning cartoons and waiting for my friends to go and play. To my grown ass bad luck, I need to earn money for a living, and I like doing so.

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These past couples of weeks have been desperate times for me, and I’ve been forcing my way in a city where I have no one, but I want to stay here and keep growing. Hopefully writing my simple life issues can ease my mind as I wait for a decision and a green light to start working again.

The only antidote for this is pure and simple patience.

Tic, toc, tic, toc.

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My shot at a fantastic job opportunity.

 So, I saw this incredible (and BIG) creative digital production company (MediaMonks) was landing in Mexico City for the first time, and I did not hesitate, applied for the copywriter position not knowing if I’ll get an answer (self-doubt sucks) and they did answer!

I was asked to write a piece about an event/activation at the San Diego Comic Con, so I wrote the following:

Everybody was dreaming about this, Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan made it real for you.

Thanks to the mesmerizing take over SDCC that this renewed franchise just landed, people can now talk about what it feels like or should feel like to be into the world of VR.

When people talk about VR, they have this idea of what it should be, a concept that can go from videos of people falling or screaming to a VR reality activation in the mall, to the adventure took upon by the remake of the classic Tron movie.

We all started to jump into activations, videos or anything that got us closer to that feeling. Have you seen that video of America’s got talent with the mesmerizing VR experience? I believe that this Tom Clancy’s activation feels exactly like that. link:

Today, we have the movie Ready Player One and this jaw-dropping video making people aware of the possibilities that VR brings to us; the keyword is experiencing and usually to do so in the world of Virtual reality, we just needed to put on a helmet and let ourselves go into what our eyes watched. Not for Jack Ryan, no sir. This franchise just took the same concept of being just an analyst turned operative and made you not only wearing a VR helmet and “analyze” what you’re seeing but turned you active into the world of this character. They brought us an Immersive immersion, and it is pure gold.

You’re repelling, running, suppressing enemy fire and driving to get back to safety in the heart of the middle east while standing in San Diego, moving around an entire 60,000 square foot city block, making the Virtual Reality your actual reality as you are physically active.

Making immersive interactions just got to a new level, more in-depth into what the customers think this experience should look and make you feel. This experience seems to be just like the lost City of Z, and we just found it.

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I did not get the job unfortunately but writing this kind of renewed my incline into wanting to write for a living and pursuing a career related to this. The whole process of searching, proofreading, writing a draft, delete a part, all of it, writing it again a hundred times. It was energizing.

“The first draft of anything is shit” – Ernest Hemingway

Hopefully, I will land one of my shots at jobs as a copywriter right in the bull’s eye one of these days.

A year in review


The plane lands swiftly in the airport of San Jose del Cabo, Baja California Sur, Mexico. I pick up my luggage which was as heavy as if I was carrying my whole 30 years accumulated in a couple of weary bags.

December 4, 2017, 15:45 Pm. 

So far so good, this could have gone good or bad, and for me, this was the beginning of a mere, lousy, dull bad year in so many levels.

A job offer that, I’m not going to say was fraudulent, but it was something within those grounds — an injury on my knee on a level that was impossible for me to evade surgery and the town of San Jose where I was not feeling in tone with myself.

So well, I am not going to type in how bad my luck is and how everything is fallin’ apart, how I hate my job and I’m not comfortable with anything here because it is not true and it would be too much a hypocrite of me to even think this.

The thing that marked me the most this year was the knee injury. I am now on a full year of no exercise (other than walking around on my job) and a lot of Netflix but no chill IYKWIM. Yes, there isn’t even a girl on this year’s story, and it sucks, but I do believe that IF I had not injured my knee, the lousy year would have transpired… slightly wrong, given that I would have been able to do, box, running or playing football.

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In retrospective, I have a job, a place to sleep, food to eat, beer to drink and a couple of friends here that can make my lousy year just that, bad luck. One thing I can say is that bad luck is not definitive. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. Hopefully, this next year I can get back up and stay there longer than the opposite.

So, in the words of Henry Rollins.
“I want to move forward as fearlessly as possible.”

2019, bring it.